This Love Must Be Easy

For how else would he love me if I wasn’t bleeding?
How else, if I wasn’t pleading,
How else would he want me if I wasn’t on my knees begging.
How else,
If not treat the infections with utmost discretion.
And how else would I please everyone but me if I did not take him back,
Back after the wounds had healed
Back after his half apologies and more promises to be inconsistent.
How else would I prove I am a woman if I did not have him back!
This love governed by fear, reinforced with terror,
How it must be easy for him to love me!

This is for all the boys with fingers longer than their feelings
For all the boys who touched without touching and left imprints heavier than life.
For those who could never stretch their emotions enough,
This is for you whose heart is so empty and hollow like dried bamboo sticks.
…And when you look at her,
You will remember me.
When you touch her,
You will feel me.
When you kiss her
You will taste me.
And when you close your eyes,
There I will be.
The last lit spot at the center before you sleep.

Georginah Ndanu
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